Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My feet surprised me
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