The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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