I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
