And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
