I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
