Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
