Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
