the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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