no, he came in my armpit
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
