I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So gin and wine won't be happening again
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
