morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I need moral support for this bender
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
