So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
