I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
how drunk are you?
Several
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
