nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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