Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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