No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
