I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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