His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
