Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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