I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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