i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
