toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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