I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
