I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
