fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
