No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
