she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
