I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
