It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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