Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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