I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the condom got lost in my hair
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
