I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
