I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
