You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I will be naked everywhere
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
