hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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