Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
