Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
