i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
