her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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