i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
