I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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