no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
