She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
soo... how was my night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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