remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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