I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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