I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
