I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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