i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
