Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
