i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
